Helen’s Testimony

[So far 2011 has been nothing but extraordinary for me. Many of you followed and supported me through my "Faith Journey". And here's another amazing testimony of God's provision, miracle and divine match-making. Enjoy!]

Last December when I came to Tacoma to speak at Tacoma Central church (TCPC), my good friend and pastor from Hawaii, Derek told me to “look out” for a good friend JOE who is single and godly. I didn’t know what to think since I was on my way to Africa and focused on my FAITH JOURNEY with God for the next 3 months. But I kept my heart open and continually asked God to lead me and give me peace. Well, my meeting with Joe happened very naturally since he attends TCPC and we had few chances to hang out in groups before I left.

After meeting Joe, I thought, “hmmm, not too bad, not too bad at all…But we shall see”. Joe and I exchanged few emails during this time and I continued to submit this relationship to God. At times it was hard to surrender but I wanted to commit to letting God be in control and for my trust to grow in Him. Little did I know that Joe was praying for me and I for Him… 

Looking back, I see how God led both of us in His perfect timing and it’s mind-blowing to recount how events unfolded. Though it was hard to develop a relationship while being apart and with limited communication, I am so thankful for my time in Africa as we were able to establish our relationship in prayer and total reliance on God to bring us together. During my Faith Journey, God really taught me how to discern and tune into Him (especially during chaos) and to grow to become satisfied solely by Him. I’ve come to be more confident in my identity as a woman following the Lord.

When I came back to Tacoma in April to work with the youth group at TCPC, I still didn’t know what Joe thought of me and I questioned why he was taking sooooo long. But I decided to keep giving it back to God.

Joe took me out few times, saying he wanted to “feed the missionary” and hear my stories. I noticed that he was not only a good listener but also asked great questions that drew things out of me. I was drawn to how he cared for and served people. My prayer for Joe grew and I waited till he made a move…

On May 30^th, Joe and I finally had a DTR (Define the relationship). I must say, it was one of the most awkward moments of my life but so memorable.

The last 6 months of prayer and especially the last 29 years of my life of waiting have proven to be worth it. Joe is the perfect “Adam” for me. I love this man and am so happy to spend “forever and ever” with him.

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Joseph’s Testimony

Like a lot of people, I used to have a prayer list when it came to finding my future spouse. However, overtime I realized that He knew me better than I could ever know myself and decided to trust and leave it up to Him to provide a woman that would be of the best fit to do the works that He had planned.  I did ask for a specific thing, and it was that this person would love the Lord more than anyone and anything, and also to have traits of a “capable wife” that is mentioned in Proverbs 31.

Last October, Derek (a good friend and pastor from Kona) and I had a time to catch up after a retreat that he had come to speak at my church in Tacoma, WA.  During our conversation, he had come to find out that I was single and had asked me what I looked for in a woman, which I simply replied “someone that loves the Lord more than anyone and anything”.  Couple of months later, I received an email from him asking me to say “hi” to his good friend Helen, who is a “very nice (single) girl :)”.  I later found out that she was coming to Tacoma as a guest speaker for our youth group, giving me a chance to meet and get to know her.   My friends and church members really liked her and had asked me to think about her as a potential.  I thought she was great and thought she really had the traits described in Proverbs 31, yet  I needed more time to find out about her and decided to pray as she went on her 3 month Faith Journey.

While Helen was away, I had prayed and asked whether if she was “the one” that He was providing through my years of prayer.  He never gave me a “yes” or a “no”, rather, told me what He thought of her through a vision He gave me.  He simply told me that He sees her as a “beautiful and rare gem”.  In the meantime, I continued to receive encouragement from my close friends and church members.  Furthermore,  the fact that she was on a Faith Journey confirmed that she was submitting her life to the Lord and love Him with all of her heart.  The answer for what I’ve been praying was clear and it was now up to me to pursue.

Yes, we did have “the awkward talk” toward the end of May.  Since then, our relationship moved unusually fast yet felt so natural and knew that it was the works of God.  I truly love her and feel blessed to have her as my future wife.

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Dating? Engagement? Marriage!?! We’ve began officially dating since May 30th. We realize that our timeline has been backwards in some ways and fast. Yet, we don’t feel like we’re rushing with our emotions but more so, riding on God’s timeline and have His peace to move forward to becoming “husband and wife”. We deeply feel God’s sovereign movement in our relationship and we want to partner with Him to prepare the way for His coming back for the Bride. Our relationship has also been born out of prayers of many people and we are so thankful for our friends and family who fully support and celebrate this wonderful new journey with us. Thank you.

As I continue to process life and experiences of Africa, I feel pulled more into God’s abounding Love and Life that is in Him. Part of encountering death face to face has brought many more facets of LIFE. What would I do or who would I be if Life (Jesus) wasn’t a part of me, especially after this encounter with death?

I am an advocate for Life (and perhaps that is why I saw death in front of me. Maybe experiencing death brings/brought out different/ deeper perspective on Life??). Advocate for people not just surviving through life but fully living out and grasping the truth of the Abundant Life promised through Jesus’ death and resurrection. Living for the eternal, a home that is far better and with whom Beauty gets its name. Living the fullness of the now and here, pulling down heaven all that is available to us, all the while gazing in full confidence of what is to come. I feel God’s jealousy for people to fully know His heart for them and live in freedom. Oh, He is just so jealous for you.

I grieve and I get justly bothered when I hear, see and feel when Abundant Life (and all the risks involved) are not taken as ours. It’s not being selfish. It’s simply knowing who we are- a royal priesthood, kings, adopted sons, beloved ones, a pure and spotless bride-to-be, friend of the King, more than conquerors, anointed ones to set captives free, called and marked by the Spirit of God… 

I still have a ways to go… still broken, still vulnerable and weak (see previous posts) but I am becoming more confident of who my confidence is in. Definitely not on myself but One who knows me, inside and out, who knit me, who advocates for me, calls me to “come up here” and be with Him to see what He sees, the Author and the Perfector of my faith, Prince of Peace, Counselor, One who’s been rejected, accused but Redeemed and is the Redeemer, the Resurrected Christ… 

[Sigh... okay deeeeeeep sigh.] I’m gonna be okay. And you are too. But do you know Him and what He says about you?

“If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”- John 8: 31-32

Broken and vulnerable after Africa, yet there’s so much grace and hope. “But he was pierced for our rebellion, crushed for our sins. He was beaten so we could be whole. He was whipped so we could be healed.” Isaiah 53:5

I feel very broken and vulnerable. It’s hard to write down in words why, what, and how.

I miss Africa. I miss the friends I left in Africa. My spirit cries out for her and her people…

Egypt- I pray God leads your future and keeps you safe.

Kenya- keep your eyes fixed on God. Don’t give in to other idols.

Zanzibar- I miss hearing kids’ singing and saying “nae” (means yes in Korean).

Arusha- I always think of you… I pray for rain/ clean water for you. I pray that Masai men and women will come to the saving knowledge of God.

Rwanda- you have so much potential. I want the best for you.

Cape Town- your service and love for the poor and the needy is awesome.

Nelspruit- I pray God will fill your streets and shine His light in the midst of darkness.

Jo-burg- oh my, oh my, how I miss the little rascals at MP’s house, singing and dancing… May your laughters bring healing over Jo-burg.

In the midst of my brokenness, I sense God moving me into deeper bond with Him. “Counting the cross” and saying “Yes” to God have become more weighty, as I consider what is coming ahead for me and my family in the future. My “yes” is no longer a youthful, passionate, “I’ll do anything for you” kind of “yes” but it’s become more deeper, prayerful, and sometimes a painful “yes”. Am I even willing to let go of the last piece of comfort? my long-held promise from God? all so for the sake of knowing Christ, am I willing to die?
If anything, this Faith Journey has taught me and revealed God’s sufficient grace, His overarching love and passion for the world (that led Him to the Cross), and victory which is available now and forever. I’m not giving up. Though it may be like “valley of the shadow of death”, I cling onto Him so that He becomes and is my Promise.

God is definitely on the move and stirring things up here in the OC. There’s such an anticipation of more breakouts of people just gathering from all over the world to pray here and more breakthroughs to come.
I’m seeing my mom’s prayer group being filled with God’s spirit but they are not the only ones. It’s funny to hear from others how God is mobilizing younger people to pray and impart His spirit of 집사님s and 장로님s (1st gen elders and deacons) at house or office meetings.
Although I’ve been anxious to leave my “home” to move up to my next destination (Tacoma), I felt God asking me to be patient. There’s something He’s about to show me, do in me and through me… Just be still. Perhaps impartation of some sort, or a “formal” commissioning out to the next thing.
Who knows. But IM excited.

What is God doing in you? How is He moving around you? Do you see it? Though we may be weak and dry, are we still keeping our eyes on Him to be able to see the Hope of Glory and know He’s always at work?!?…

As I’ve been slowly unpacking my 3 months of action-packed Faith Journey in Africa, one big thing keeps coming back are fearful thought of my parents returning to this dark and harmful part of the world permanently. I believe in God’s love for this place and I am SO thankful for God’s transformational power and hands on my parents’ lives. I prayed for years that my parents would experience the Spirit of God and be led God to live the abundant life promised to us. And with my own eyes I have been and am continuing to see exceeding JOY of God in their lives and my prayers being answered.

Then, what is the matter? Why am I so downcast?

I know I have many things to pray through. Bottom line is that I am fearful. Up to the last 3-4 hours before I boarded my flight back home, I witnessed things that both delight God and also makes His heart sad. Africa needs God. Badly. And my parents’ have chosen to partner with God to bring Heaven down to earth. But I don’t want anything to happen to my parents. I am both proud of my parents yet scared for them…

“I am jealous for your parents”… That’s what I felt God say to me. God isn’t disappointed with my lack of faith, I think. But He, so gracious and pure in love, comforts me… “I know how it feels to be separated from parents… I love them. I’m jealous for them, for their well-being and their souls.”

I am so broken and vulnerable… God, may Your will be done, in me, in my parents and on earth as it is in heaven. Help my unbelief…

Nelspruit, S. Africa

Ten Thousand Home (YWAM Kruger Park)

Joy and Hope overfloweth in this base!! No wonder… cause God loves those who share food with the hungry, provide the poor wanderer with shelter and clothe the naked (Isaiah 58). I came at the right time! A team from New Hope church from Texas had been running a discipleship class for 5 days and it’s so clear that God did some incredible, deep healing and restoration in the youth of this town. Unforgiving hearts, hold of witchcraft, anger, spirit of death, and much more were conqueredby the end of the week. And on Sunday, as youths were testifying about God, we got to see the start of a ripple effect—Life of Freedom shaking the hard grounds with more testimonies to come. I say this in faith because I know our God does not disappoint and He’s all about ABUNDANCE and FREEDOM in LIFE.  Wow. We have a powerful God on our side!! In the last 3 months, I have been so encouraged through seeing God gathering teams of people from all over the world to minister to the nations in Africa. And this was no different– God’s fingerprints were all over these youth leaders. Surely, God is always at work and as Jesus followed every movement of the Father, His people are everywhere being hands, feet and voices for God. I’m humbled by this, as well as encouraged that we don’t work nor fight alone. What a blessing!

Well, I came to this base, specifically to visit my good friend, Kacy who has been living in S. Africa for 2 years. She’s about sharing God’s heart in broken homes and families and she lives and teaches on what it means to be known, to be loved, and to belong. She and I both studied Marriage and Family Therapy at Fuller Seminary and God’s gifted her with unbelievable ability to love the unwanted, minister to the broken, and walk with them in tangible steps towards restoration. Seeing her daily obedience to serve made me more confident that one person, being available to Christ, CAN indeed change lives and bring hope to a community.

… continue reading this entry.

WARNING: this is a long one.

Rwanda

I only got a short and sweet taste of Rwanda, a nation full of potential and promising future. I stayed at the YWAM base, spending time with its leaders, Methode and Mary. They shed light on the history of Rwanda’s past genocide and I saw a glimpse of what happened when I went to the Genocide Memorial. Though Rwandan government has worked on beautifying the county, covering its history with much effort, its devastating and horrific past is engraved into those who lost their family and friends and for those suffered physically, emotionally and mentally. Although evil prospered in those days, my thought is that God was and has been able to work through tough trials to let His glory SHINE. When I prayed for YWAM Rwanda, I felt strongly that they are equipping and raising up leaders of Rwanda and surrounding countries like Congo, Burundi, Uganda of the next generation. It is apparent that God has been healing and restoring them not to the original but to the next level of glory. I admire their dedication to Jesus and to serving Africa. They all have powerful testimonies, many of which may never be heard, nevertheless, their faith and faithful serving will transform nations.

Cape Town, S. Africa

For the Love of ONE

One must visit Cape Town to capture the beauty of the mountains, beaches, and the people. I was fortunate to stay in a mansion (literally a palace with two pools, chef, racquet ball court, etc) with a family who is renown in the whole of South Africa. God divinely connected me to this family and I was again reminded that my trip to Cape Town would be well worth it if I were only here to meet and encourage this family. God’s love for the ONE is so telling of His Father’s heart- no matter how many children He has, His love for each one is unique, never selective, and unending. One would be surprised by their openness to me and I felt privileged that they felt safe to share their lives with me. I was honored to pray and intercede for them. I pray they would share in the joy and peace of God and that Love would abound even more in and through this influential and special family.

Happy Feet

My last day in Cape Town was so meaningful and full. One event that stands out is going out with a team to the streets to minister to prostitutes. It was my very first time to venture out to talk with prostitutes but this experienced team made it simple and easy. They simply showed and shared that they were here to love on them, that there is a different way to earn an income and they are available to walk through this process with them. In two hours, we talked to 7 people- some prostitutes with whom they’ve talked to previously and some new ones.

Then there’s Sabrina- a homeless girl in her early 20’s who looked distraught, lost and was on her bare feet. She had come out of prison a while back and wandering, looking for a place to sleep. My eyes could not stop looking down at her feet and I felt God filling me with His compassion. Words from 1 John 3: 17-18 came to me:

“If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words, or tongue but with actions and in truth.”

Before I could reason with myself, I made my mind to give her my pink, rainbow sandals. Even though I had to walk back to the church in the dark streets, I knew I would have more joy giving and returning barefooted.

Sabrina was speechless and astounded when I asked her to try on my shoes. She was shy and I literally had to take her foot and put my shoes on her. AND IT FIT HER FEET PERFECTLY! I told her, “You may not remember my name later, but know that JESUS loves you and He gave me His love for you.” And I… I walked away happy with a smile from ear to ear. Jesus’ love satisfies like no other.

In Rwanda I met Aloys, 27 years of age, oldest son of five, and an aspiring film maker from Burundi. He spent the whole afternoon showing me around downtown and sharing his life vision and story of how he came to Rwanda. He has an incredible testimony. He has lived through civil war in Burundi, went from a nice home to a refugee camp, suffered the loss of his mom, and left his home to a land of unknown in obedience to God who told him just two words– “leave home”. He didn’t even have a passport or sufficient funds; all he knew was to go north. He believed that if Jesus was indeed his Savior and Lord then He would surely provide and answer him, so he left his brothers and father who was HIV+.

Aloys on the left.

Before he left home he saw God miraculously provide him 3000shillings for transportation. Not only that but at the border of Rwanda, God allowed him to pass through without a passport. How? God blocked or more accurately, He made the security/ immigration officer immovable- he couldn’t move his legs towards the bus that Aloys was on. The officer was paralyzed and all he could do was to motion his arm to let the bus pass. When Aloys arrived in Rwanda, he had no place to stay or food to eat. Through divine circumstances he met a priest who took him in and taught him about Jesus. He then was studying to become a priest, but God’s hand directed him elsewhere, which at that time frustrated Aloys’ plans and heart.

Sometime later, Aloys found a home church, which had an English service and he started to learn English.For a man who learned a second language in his mid 20s, it’s astonishing how well he communicates. He came to YWAM (youth with a mission) Rwanda through his pastor and went through discipleship training. And now he serves as a communication service staff. Just spending few hours with him, it’s just so evident that God is so real and so good! Oh, and his calling? Going back to Burundi to reach out to youth through his gifting of film making.

(I’m so bad but this is a short version of his life story; I wish all of you could hear this man’s story.)

Aloys showed me one of his short films and I was pretty impressed. It reminded me of Nooma by pastor Rob Bell- short and sweet with a powerful messages of Jesus and His love for us. I totally believe that Aloys will be used in a powerful way to further God’s kingdom!! He’s so ready, open, giving, and has God’s wisdom!
I’m convinced that many of YWAM Rwanda staff and students will be the next “Loren Cummingham”. Many of them, like Aloys have untold, unheard stories, which are as worthy to be recognized as those we have read and heard. These stories remain unheard because of its lack of communication capabilities in Africa (and other parts of the world) but they are as precious, powerful, and  life-transforming!

I’ve been meeting some amazing people who are full of joy, excitement to serve and love for God and people of africa. I respect them, especially those who are older (and of course wiser) who have come to Africa when there were very little development, security, comfort (water, transport, electricity, fellowship). There’s still much that can’t be found here that is easily found at “home”. Water, for example, is scares in Arusha, Tanzania. YWAM base there hasn’t had running water for 3 weeks and they continue to dig for water but with little or no success. Ive experienced that urine that sits overnight becomes toxic and your body has immediate gag reflex. In such case, Im in favor of the non- toilet, hole in the ground outhouses. Going backwards but what use is a toilet if you cant flush and it’s collecting germs and… I’ll stop here.
Anyhow, i was only in Arusha for just three days; I honor those missionaries who have not only survived and adjusted but are thriving in what some might consider ‘primitive’ lifestyle. Again those who are in their 50s and 60s, i just wonder ‘how do you do it!?!’. As a younger, healthier missionary I don’t know if I can live as they do.

But as I talked to various people, there are similarities- they serve as Jesus served and know missions cannot be done without Him & His grace and if its not for Him. A successful missions is not having a big church plant with many people to fill it. It cannot simply be people coming for free service or food, medical aid. We must preach the gospel without compromise, magnify Jesus for who He is, and serve the people even if they rob, hurt or kill us. If people get offended by the gospel that is preached, the way of the cross, we cannot be apologetic or try to decorate it nicely. Im learning that it’s not about quantity, though that is good, the matter is more on transformation of lives, making disciples who will lay down their lives and go into their family, friends, culture, society, work, etc.

I was humbled and touched by the stories I heard about Masai women who come to know Jesus and are dedicated to Him despite beatings, abuses, and threats of death. One missionary said, “they can beat up the women close to death, but they cant beat the Jesus out of them”. To Masai men these women live merely for their pleasure and sold for cows and goats which are their prized possessions. Women suffer cutting of the female parts, rape and beating as early as 10 years old for men between the ages 20-80. So when they find this Man who died for love, they risk their lives to have Him. That’s bravery! I have much to learn from them.

In Cairo, Egypt, I felt I had literally, emotionally and mentally lived through the country’s revolution together with the people. For a first time visitor to an Arab country and to world of Africa, I can say that it was a huge event to witness and fascinating to live through changes in history as it was occurring.

Then I come here to Nairobi, Kenya and for the most part it has been a mild experience. Or more honestly, a rather disappointing experience. Other than traveling to Mombasa with 22 Swedish missionaries, I really haven’t done much. I have been sick part of the time….In the beginning I felt God say I needed a rest, but at the back of my mind I was expecting more action or achievement. It’s easy for me to compare, looking back at what I had come through with my Egyptian friends. In Nairobi, I enjoyed the leisure of walking to one of the biggest malls in the country few times. And the last couple of days, I’ve just stayed home in this comfortable house, resting and recuperating from an unknown “sickness”. I feel spiritually and physically down and the times I’ve gone to the mall, I felt agitated and frustrated for mysterious reasons. What is it about this place that weighs my spirit down and into a funk?

Along with this “downfall” in my spirit, the powerful guidance and peace I had with me in Egypt feel absent. I feel lost… Is it me or something in the air? Have I done something wrong? Am I out of alignment with God? At the point of my Faith Journey, what am I to learn?

I’m not quite sure.

But I received an email from a friend who encouraged me to not try to figure things out all the time- sometimes we just don’t know why and what and I need to be okay with that. It’s so self-centered to be thinking that everything’s got to make sense for me and fit into what I hope this Faith Journey should look like. I lack so much faith.

But this question keeps coming to my mind: Am I measuring faith on how faithful I can be or on whom my faith is relied on? I will never be able to be faithful as I so desire but I know the One who I can trust and put my faith into. If I can’t see it, will I still trust?

Faith–

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. This is what the ancients were commended for. By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God’s command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible.